Monday, January 2, 2023

Here be dragons

There is a dragon in the walls 
And it is snoring 
Slow 
Softly 
At the edge of hearing

There is a dragon in the walls 
And it is snoring 
We must move quietly 
Breathe silently 
Whisper 

There is a dragon in the walls 
And it is snoring 
If it awoke there would be 
A fierceness of teeth and breath 
Destruction 

There is a dragon in the walls 
And it is snoring 
Tomorrow I will call 
The exterminator

Stairs

 The leopard stairs are soft and furry
The whiskers tickle your toes as you climb
Softly purring, almost asleep
We hope they don’t awake

The spider stairs are sticky and flimsy
They’re always hidden in dark corners
Waiting for you to come closer
You never know if you will make it home

The eagle stairs are loud and hard
Dangerously high and perilous
They soar and glide in the thermals
Watch out for when they dive

The shark stairs are pointy and raspy
They wend sinuously through the deep
Hunting you or something like you
Best to avoid these stairs

The elephant stairs are long and memorable
Gentle, warm wrinkles of repeated journeys
Slow moving but attentive
Caring of kin who climb them

The human stairs are geometric and boring
Symmetrical and repeating
No fun nor joy in them
We are stuck with the mundane

No sweetness in parting

The bard said,
'parting is such sweet sorrow'
As he held his beloved
And they kissed

For me,
There is no sweetness in this sorrow of parting,
At best, the sting of adhesive removed quickly from skin
At worst, you leave with my heart,
My chest a gaping wound

The separation brushes too close to abandonment,
The fear of no longer being of use
My past echoing to the present

Your return soothes the pains
The fears diminish
The tension remains
For soon you will go again,
And then you will come back.

Monday, December 19, 2022

A rose by any other name

I’ve always gotten along with cats, and they still liked me now, which is probably one of the reasons I was assigned to this animal keeper role.  The birds didn’t mind me either, probably because I kept them fed and ensured the cats didn’t hunt them.  The cats were to keep the rodent population down, the only real survivors of the end.  I don’t know where the cats came from, possibly the same place as me.  They’d turn up, some friendly, some wild and spitting.  I’d sit with them until they fell asleep against me, softly purring, and then one of the other cats would appear, and wait until the new one woke up.  They’d look at each other for a while and then go off into the garden.  Sometimes the cats would leave a mouse or a rat for me.  I’m not sure what they thought I’d do with it, it’s not like I can eat.

My section of the garden was full of fruit trees and wildflowers.  Other parts had grain fields, forests and some rocky outcrops.  There was a house where they lived.  I’m not sure what they did exactly, but they lived in the house and existed off the produce from the garden.  I remember houses and living in one.  I don’t remember more than that, the same way I don’t remember my name or how I died.  When it gets dark, we stop and rest.  We don’t need to, but it hard to see in the dark, so we are told to rest instead.  As the day dawns they sing. I don’t understand the words.  It’s not exactly beautiful music, but it feels nice, and it is a lovely way to greet the sun.

There were other people like me.  They all had various jobs looking after parts of the garden or grounds.  There was one who looked after the bees.  I guess when you can no longer be stung by bees it’s not a bad job.  I never spoke to them about it, I just watched them carefully open the hives with bees swarming about them.  I don’t know where the bees came from either.  There is a lot that I don’t know, so I focus on making sure the cats are happy and the birds are fed.

I miss dogs though.  I don’t think there are any dogs in the garden.  It’s probably not a bad thing that there aren’t dogs given my, and my coworker’s, condition.  We don’t want to be mistaken as food.  Bones are necessary to keep working, and dogs like bones.

Yesterday I met Lucy.  She came up to me as I was settling the most recent cat arrival.  The cat had bitten me several times and tried to scratch me.  It didn’t hurt me, but it did hurt the cat a little.  Eventually the cat understood, settled and started to fall asleep.  Lucy introduced herself and then asked my name.  When I told her I didn’t know it, she decided to call me Andy.  Lucy told me that if I did remember my name, she would start calling me by that.  I don’t know how I feel about Andy, but I’ll think on it.

Lucy works in my section of the garden, looking after the fruit trees.  I don’t remember seeing her before yesterday, but we do all look the same, more or less.  There are some subtle differences, but we don’t really spend time together, so having to remember what name goes with what face isn’t something I need to do.  It’s not lonely, it just is.

Beyond the garden is a path and then the sea.  I’ve stood against the fence between the garden and the path and looked out at the sea.  It’s curious because there is path and then water, which is mostly still, and my memory of the sea is that it was more mobile.  But perhaps I am wrong.  The sea is full of a green grass like substance and creatures in the water that eat it.  They’re big and the only word that my memory will give me is dolphin, but I don’t think that is the right word.

There are other houses with different people in them on other properties.  I mean people like me, and people like them.  I can just see the next house near the horizon.  I know they have been to that house because I have seen them leave and seen them come back.  I don’t know what is at the next house, but I do wonder.

The next time Lucy came to talk to me, I mention the other house and my wonderings.  Lucy looked towards the house and suggested that we go there.  I had not considered that before.  We walk through the gate and along the path towards the other house.  When we arrive, we find that to access the garden we need to go through the house.  We do our best to sneak through the house, walking quietly past one of them who is busy in a room.

As we enter the garden, we hear singing start inside the house.  This is not a song that I have heard before and I turn towards it.  I see the one of them that we snuck past looking at us and singing.  I feel something strange, and I look down at my body.  My bones appear to be changing, tendons and muscles are growing.  Lucy screams and runs towards the one of them that is singing.  The song stops.  I cannot hear what they are saying, but soon Lucy walks towards me and the song begins anew, though it is different now. Muscles finish growing, blood vessels gleam, nerve endings shine.  Eventually there is skin.

I hold out my arm and look at the brown skin that covers it.  I turn towards Lucy who is smiling.  She says, “This is the body I’ve always wanted.” I say, “My name is Victor”.

Monday, March 8, 2010

The flood

I woke up to a strange sound. Well more of an absence of sound. It had stopped raining, and given that it had been raining for the past 4 days the sudden silence had woken me. I could tell that it was close to dawn from the light coming around the curtained window, and I was curious what the world now looked like after the rain.

We'd been couped up inside while it rained and given it was a longer weekend than normal thanks to the celebration of the worker, we had avoided going outside after the initial storm which had left those caught in it with bruises and lacerations and many pets and livestock in a state of panic, thanks to hail stones the size of apricots. Since then going to work was hampered by the amount of water falling from the sky, it would ease off, but then start in earnest again, constantly drumming against the roof, ground and fences. The neighbourhood buckled down and waited for it to end.

Now that it was silent, I quickly dressed, found shoes that would cope with the mud I knew I would find and stepped outside. The rising sun had broken through the clouds and watery light painted a sodden and shiny world. I stepped outside and almost slipped in the mud outside my house. Other neighbours were also peering through their doorways, looking at the world.

I smiled at Farouk and suggested that we might be able to work today and he laughed, pointing at the clouds behind my house. I turned and sighed, the sky behind me was black, promising more solid rain.

I noticed that there was something different about the area, not just the water pooling on the road and around the houses, something had changed, and then I realised what it was. The creek that ran by our neighbourhood was running at the top of its embankment. This in itself was quite impressive, the embankment is 5 metres higher than the creek normally and now it was running full. More rain was likely to cause the creek to flood which was going to cause problems for us. I pointed at the creek and the smiles that had been present due to the cessation, no matter how brief, of the rain faded and everyone turned grim.

More rain was going to cause everyone problems, particularly if it kept raining like it had for the past 4 days, our neighbourhood would be flooded and many of us had nowhere else to go. I walked over to the creek and watched the torrent of water flowing, carrying branches and other debris downstream.

As I turned to walk back to my house, a bright flash lit the ground and a loud crack of thunder quickly followed. I watched as everyone disappeared back into their houses, and I walked as quickly as I could back to mine, trying my best to not slip over in the mud.

Once inside I made myself and the others some breakfast. The household stirred and groggily walked into the kitchen and helped themselves to food. We sat and listened to the rain begin again, punctuated by thunder and the whines of scared animals. Much more rain and we would run out of food as our stores were depleted. Travelling to purchase more food was too dangerous on flooded streets.

Some hours later I noticed a small trickle of water coming under one of the doors. I pulled back the curtain and saw that rising flood waters were covering our street. We moved furniture on top of other furniture, trying to limit what would get damaged and attempting to keep ourselves and everything we needed dry. The water continued rising, and soon we were wading chest deep. We didn't know what to do, and argued about climbing onto the roof and sitting in the falling rain for help that did not seem to be coming or staying in the house and hoping that the water would recede.

The rain continued and the water kept climbing. We were forced onto the roof, and we sat there soaked and shivering while watching the water climb higher and higher. We knew as the rain kept falling and the waters rising that we would not survive the night.

One by one we lost footing on the house and were pulled away into the darkness.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Tomorrow

Tomorrow
If the stars are right
I will be a princess

I will have a sceptre
And be able to say, "Off with their heads"

I will have a carriage
And beautiful horses will take me where I wish

Or...

Tomorrow
If I really want to
I will be a pirate

I will buckle a swash
And force people to walk the plank

I will have a parrot
And sail the high seas

Or....

Tomorrow
If I am really good
I will be an angel

I will have big, soft wings
And will fly from here to there

I will have a halo
And I will be invisible

Or...

Tomorrow
I suppose
I will be me

I will do the things that I do
Wake up, eat food

I will be happy and have fun
And everything will be good

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Little Blue Monkey

Little Blue Monkey and Little Green Monkey were great friends. They talked to each other about important things, they held hands when walking together and snuggled against each other on the very cold nights. They thought this would never end.

One day Little Green Monkey decided to leave the path and go and see what was over that hill. Little Blue Monkey was very upset about this and explained to Little Green Monkey that she didn't think this was wise, that in doing so he may not find happiness and there might be dragons.

Little Green Monkey walked alongside Little Blue Monkey but was constantly looking at the hill and he stopped holding her hand or snuggling with her during the cold nights.

Not long afterward Little Green Monkey left and disappeared over the hill. Little Blue Monkey was very upset and Big Red Monkey gave her many hugs and told her that everything would be ok in time. Little Purple Wombat reminded Little Blue Monkey how loved and appreciated she was and said that in time she'd be ok and would be happy again.

All of Little Blue Monkey's family, who were on the road with her, loved her and supported her in their own way.

Little Blue Monkey still missed Little Green Monkey and kept looking back to see if he was running behind them as if to catch up, knowing that he wasn't and wouldn't be likely too. Over time she stopped looking back, but hoped that one day Little Green Monkey's path would cross or come close to hers so that she may see him again and see if he was ok.

And maybe one day they may again walk side by side, holding hands and snuggling when the nights were cold.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

You went away

The door closes behind you and I turn away
My cold and empty hands remind me of you.
The wind howls through the trees
and the empty pillows beside me reminds me of you.
Footsteps echo lonely on the street
and the floor creaks as the house shifts
I turn to find you missing.
Everything and everyone reminds me of you.

Waiting for dawn

(First draft of My heart's song)

Wrap me up
Protect me with your loving arms
Keep me safe from darkness
While I wait for dawn

Wrap me up
Protect me with your loving arms
Keep the faith I've lost
Hold hope where I have none

Wrap me up
Protect me with your loving arms
Remind me of all the colours
When all I see is darkness

Thank you for your patience
I have none for me
I seek an end to this pain
And the easy answers aren't
I never need reminding that
You love me and I love you

Wrap me up
Protect me with your loving arms
Watch with me through darkness
While we wait for dawn

Rage

It lies there
burning cold
sharply dull
coiled deep inside me

I hide from it
unsettling
biting
tearing
consuming

I breathe and wait
it fades
returns to its sleep
never gone
just resting
waiting