Monday, December 19, 2022

A rose by any other name

I’ve always gotten along with cats, and they still liked me now, which is probably one of the reasons I was assigned to this animal keeper role.  The birds didn’t mind me either, probably because I kept them fed and ensured the cats didn’t hunt them.  The cats were to keep the rodent population down, the only real survivors of the end.  I don’t know where the cats came from, possibly the same place as me.  They’d turn up, some friendly, some wild and spitting.  I’d sit with them until they fell asleep against me, softly purring, and then one of the other cats would appear, and wait until the new one woke up.  They’d look at each other for a while and then go off into the garden.  Sometimes the cats would leave a mouse or a rat for me.  I’m not sure what they thought I’d do with it, it’s not like I can eat.

My section of the garden was full of fruit trees and wildflowers.  Other parts had grain fields, forests and some rocky outcrops.  There was a house where they lived.  I’m not sure what they did exactly, but they lived in the house and existed off the produce from the garden.  I remember houses and living in one.  I don’t remember more than that, the same way I don’t remember my name or how I died.  When it gets dark, we stop and rest.  We don’t need to, but it hard to see in the dark, so we are told to rest instead.  As the day dawns they sing. I don’t understand the words.  It’s not exactly beautiful music, but it feels nice, and it is a lovely way to greet the sun.

There were other people like me.  They all had various jobs looking after parts of the garden or grounds.  There was one who looked after the bees.  I guess when you can no longer be stung by bees it’s not a bad job.  I never spoke to them about it, I just watched them carefully open the hives with bees swarming about them.  I don’t know where the bees came from either.  There is a lot that I don’t know, so I focus on making sure the cats are happy and the birds are fed.

I miss dogs though.  I don’t think there are any dogs in the garden.  It’s probably not a bad thing that there aren’t dogs given my, and my coworker’s, condition.  We don’t want to be mistaken as food.  Bones are necessary to keep working, and dogs like bones.

Yesterday I met Lucy.  She came up to me as I was settling the most recent cat arrival.  The cat had bitten me several times and tried to scratch me.  It didn’t hurt me, but it did hurt the cat a little.  Eventually the cat understood, settled and started to fall asleep.  Lucy introduced herself and then asked my name.  When I told her I didn’t know it, she decided to call me Andy.  Lucy told me that if I did remember my name, she would start calling me by that.  I don’t know how I feel about Andy, but I’ll think on it.

Lucy works in my section of the garden, looking after the fruit trees.  I don’t remember seeing her before yesterday, but we do all look the same, more or less.  There are some subtle differences, but we don’t really spend time together, so having to remember what name goes with what face isn’t something I need to do.  It’s not lonely, it just is.

Beyond the garden is a path and then the sea.  I’ve stood against the fence between the garden and the path and looked out at the sea.  It’s curious because there is path and then water, which is mostly still, and my memory of the sea is that it was more mobile.  But perhaps I am wrong.  The sea is full of a green grass like substance and creatures in the water that eat it.  They’re big and the only word that my memory will give me is dolphin, but I don’t think that is the right word.

There are other houses with different people in them on other properties.  I mean people like me, and people like them.  I can just see the next house near the horizon.  I know they have been to that house because I have seen them leave and seen them come back.  I don’t know what is at the next house, but I do wonder.

The next time Lucy came to talk to me, I mention the other house and my wonderings.  Lucy looked towards the house and suggested that we go there.  I had not considered that before.  We walk through the gate and along the path towards the other house.  When we arrive, we find that to access the garden we need to go through the house.  We do our best to sneak through the house, walking quietly past one of them who is busy in a room.

As we enter the garden, we hear singing start inside the house.  This is not a song that I have heard before and I turn towards it.  I see the one of them that we snuck past looking at us and singing.  I feel something strange, and I look down at my body.  My bones appear to be changing, tendons and muscles are growing.  Lucy screams and runs towards the one of them that is singing.  The song stops.  I cannot hear what they are saying, but soon Lucy walks towards me and the song begins anew, though it is different now. Muscles finish growing, blood vessels gleam, nerve endings shine.  Eventually there is skin.

I hold out my arm and look at the brown skin that covers it.  I turn towards Lucy who is smiling.  She says, “This is the body I’ve always wanted.” I say, “My name is Victor”.